by Gallagher & Schleicher
Knowing that President Trump wouldn’t want to be one-upped by former President Obama’s posting of what he’s been reading and listening to, we offer this gentle guide for The Donald:
Havana by Camila Cabello–When it comes time to seek asylum, why not somewhere near Mar-a-Lago?
Folsom Prison Blues by Johnny Cash–From the Man in Black for the Man in Orange.
Feds Watching by 2 Chainz–With lyrics like “Put the rocket on that motherfXXXin prosecutor” and “I’m a be fresh as hell if the Feds watching,” a perfect theme song for your thug life.
American Idiot by Green Day–Someone’s been reading your tweets.
Make America Great Again by Pussy Riot–Grab this hit while you can; it’s rare they pen an ode to you rather than Vladimir.
Burn it Down by Daughter–A disconcerting tune to accompany you and Ivanka’s torching of the Emolument Clause.
Born in the USA by Bruce Springsteen–A song about Barack Obama.
Snitch by Obie Trice featuring Akon–Too late for Flynn and Papadopoulos; still time to DM it to Manafort.
Not Ready to Make Nice by The Dixie Chicks–Why your infrastructure bill won’t pass.
Twitter For Dummies by Laura Fitton and Anum Hussain–Turns out it wasn’t intended for taunting others into starting nuclear wars.
The Bible–It’s never too late to start.
Federal Prison Handbook: The Definitive Guide to Surviving the Federal Bureau of Prisons by Christopher Zoukis. Alternatively, you could author Club Fed for Dummies, so long as you bunk with a good ghostwriter.
From the Embassy: A U.S. Foreign Policy Primer by George T. Dempsey.
Encyclopedia Brown: Case of the Missing Ice Cream by Donald J. Sobot and Glenn Andrews–Someone took two scoops!
A Higher Loyalty: Truth, Lies and Leadership by James Comey (available May 2018)–Get your copy before Robert Mueller gets his. Also available on tape (date TBD).
The Constitution–You can skip Article XII this time.
War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy–The first Russian you won’t forget meeting. Look for the illustrated version.
And if that’s not enough,
The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire by Edward Gibbon–For those doomed to repeat it…
David Gallagher is a transplanted Texan, living and working in London and tweeting @TBoneGallagher. David Schleicher is an attorney who splits his time between Waco, D.C. and Houston, tweeting at @ContranymTimes.